NIAW: Wear Orange!

Photo Credit: Bob Jansen

Apparently orange is having a major moment; with rust and marigold (aka vibrant orange) making their way onto the Pantone spring/summer color palette for 2021.

Which made it easier to find, yet not a whole lot that is left out there. With that in mind, I have done the super sleuthing for you… so whether you are looking for a pop of orange or all out, I have you covered. Check out these fashion finds for just the right amount of orange for you during National Infertility Week (April 18 - 24) and beyond.

Pop of Color:

Cynthia Rowley. A little bit of orange goes a long way with this Colorblock Trucker Hat

Endomego. Get festive for the occasion by adding a One in Eight and Orange Awareness Ribbon Beaded Bracelet into the mix

HelpUsAdopt. Do good and look good with this orange Family Tree bracelet signifying love, hope, and the dream of parenthood through adoption. 100% or products are donated to the HelpUsAdopt.org adoption grant program

Family Tree bracelet by HelpUsAdopt.org

Infertile Tees. Definitely feeling like I’m with the band wearing this Infertility Awareness Month Band Tee. A portion of proceeds benefits the Cade Foundation

Jojii & Co. Level up your stack of bracelets all year round with this Infertility Awareness bracelet with a portion of proceeds benefiting Resolve.org

Lele Sadoughi. Nothing says pop of color like this Linen Headband

Stella + Dot. Abbe Feder and I are hosting a warrior fundraiser to offset treatment fees for one warrior (from Abbe’s April commissions) and donate merchandise credit to another warrior through the rewards I would otherwise receive from co-hosting this fundraiser!

Go All Out:

Banana Republic Factory. If you are on the petite side and swim in maxi skirts and aren’t ready to commit to a bright orange, this rust colored Petite Tiered Poplin Maxi Skirt is right for you.

Rainbow Babies Prints. Because nothing says warrior quite like this shirt. Infertility Warrior Shirt, 20% of proceeds donated to Resolve.org

Resolve. Support the organization that made NIAW a thing! One in Eight shirt

Staud. My go to brand for well tailored clothing from LA that always feels like sunshine. Wells Dress or Mini Elio Dress in Nectarine

Target. Hues of orange abound right now and the price is always right! I checked out what they had in store and after falling into the beautiful black hole that is Target, emerged with a few finds of my own including an A-Line Midi Skirt by A New Day (see below) and a Tiered Knit Babydoll Dress by Wild Fable (also shown below). Here were some other picks you might like by A New Day: Pleated A-Line Skirt, Sleeved Smocked Dress, Rib Knit Ballet Dress, and Sleeveless Button Front. I thought that All in Motion’s tie dye crewneck sweatshirt was pretty cute too.

Unsweetened New York. Because how can you be anything but happy after looking at this tee? Happy Cinnamon Tee

Happy Shopping and Don’t forget to #wearorange on Wednesday, April 21st and tag @resolveorg as part of their campaign. Tag @fertilust as well and I will feature you in my stories.

Looking forward to shining bright with you next week and elevating the discussion around infertility awareness!

Note: I am not affiliated with any of the brands listed and am not receiving any monetary contribution or goods in exchange for this post. A donation was made to HelpUsAdopt.org in exchange for the bracelet sent to me.

The 5 things to never say to anyone with infertility

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

There are unspoken rules related to (in)fertility. And since you may not even know that someone is struggling, it’s best to avoid asking some of these all-too common phrases and questions which no matter how well intentioned will likely not be taken as such.

Rule 1: Never tell someone to “relax and it will happen”

I remember beings so stressed out about the needles, distracting myself with the stress of my job and then stressing about being stressed. It made it worse when people would tell me not to stress. It is basic science that if the body is hyper-stressed (and releasing high quantities of cortisol hormone), it can signal to the body that the focus is survival, and not on making a baby. How is that in and of itself not stressful? 

And you or your sister, cousin, or friend Denise who got pregnant by taking a vacation likely did not have scar tissue obstruction, PCOS, endometriosis, an unexplained diagnosis or the myriad of fertility challenges that are still being discovered. You may have the best of intentions because you just don’t know what to say, but do not bring up those two words (don’t stress), no matter how well intentioned. Ever.

Rule 2: Do not say you “just know that it will happen”

The self-pressure is already so incredibly significant. Do not promise that you know a future which the person or couple, their doctor, and you do not in fact know.

Rule 3: Avoid any consolation with “why don’t you just adopt”

Adoption is a beautiful option. However, the mental process to get there requires that someone make peace with not fulfilling a potential dream of being pregnant. Your comment may be construed as asking someone to give up on their dream. There are also many other aspects emotionally, mentally and financially that the intended person or couple will have to think about and plan. So while absolutely incredible, if a person or a couple wants to expand their family with adoption, they will likely do so without your surface suggestion.

Rule 4: Do not ask “do you want to have kids”

How do you know someone hasn’t been painstakingly trying for months or even years? This question can be a dagger in the heart and is just plain nosy. This question is just as rude as asking someone how old they are. It’s personal and if someone wants to tell you whether or not they want, or are trying to have children, they will let you know.

Rule 5: Delete this phrase from your vocabulary: “You’ll understand one day when you’re a mom (or dad)”

This is so obviously insensitive to the person or couple who is/are trying their hardest to be a parent. And since most people don’t reveal their fertility journey, better to just strike this from your playbook all together.

Don’t know what to say?

Share that your friendship is important and you are always there to listen. Please don’t try to relate with your experiences if you have never been through infertility. And if you have, ask for permission first or wait to be asked before you share your journey.

Infertility affects one in eight couples in the US. Resolve, Pregnantish, Robyn, It’s Conceivable by Rebekah Rosler or even this blog to share as resources if and when someone is ready. From that point, sending positive good vibes and little thoughtful gestures are the best words to remind someone that you are there and thinking of them.

Any other unspoken rules that you want to share? Please feel free to leave them in the comments!