Baby Makes Three...

I am grateful to my rock of a husband; friends and family for cheering us on; Elaine, an enormously talented healer who helped me understand my path; the designer who fortuitously sat next to me at a brunch last summer and introduced me to "the" doctor;  Claudia for helping me awaken to the concept that all of this was happening for me; Keri who taught me to look at food as fuel and medicine; Daryl for reminding me that (acupuncture) needles can actually be wonderful; and to Dr. Schoolcraft, Melanie and all of the amazing people at CCRM that I have had the great pleasure of meeting along this very long road.

Sound like an awards ceremony?  I sort of feel like I just won the greatest award in the world.  I have won the gift of pregnancy and I couldn't have done this on my own without the expertise, support, and love of so many incredible people.  I now know that every single person that I felt that tinge of energy around was meant to be in my life for a reason, whether for a season, or a lifetime.  For the first time, maybe ever, I feel like I am in alignment and exactly where I am meant to be.  

I have tried so many times to write this entry down over the last couple of months, and every time, I find an excuse to put it off.  First I had to wait until after three months to be sure, then I had to get my energy back, take care of my full time job, wait until the time felt right to share the news, and the list goes on and on...  Despite my very positive outcome, I have felt so many emotions through this process that coming back to center and sharing the news of my pregnancy has actually been more difficult than I could have imagined.

About 6 weeks after starting this blog, I got pregnant.  It’s mildly amusing that I had to expose my “dirty little secret,” and then I conceived so quickly.  The most interesting finding is that by sharing my secret, it was no longer dirty.  In fact, I found out that I was far from alone.  The path to finding fertility can mentally and physically suck the life out of you if you let it.  I am fortunate to have discovered solace and community from several groups consisting of thousands of women who struggle with their fertility.  These women bestowed upon me the invaluable gift of perspective.  And for those still on the journey, I will continue to root for you every single day.

I also thought that getting pregnant would be my end goal.  In hindsight, it is now clear that chapter was a stepping stone to the next leg of this incredible journey.  The lessons that I have learned, and continue to learn, about mental and physical wellness weren’t only the key to helping me conceive, they have become a way of life.

So as I sit here writing this at 6.5 months (26 weeks) pregnant with my little babe kicking inside of me, I am overcome with appreciation for this journey.  Being open to the possibilities, unattached to the outcome and surrounded by an amazing network is why I believe I am able to share this wonderful news with you.

A million thanks.  My cup literally runneth over in gratitude.

*A very special thanks to the talented Robert Grima for capturing me and my belly, as well as to Zimmerman for the beautiful dress.*

All About the Egg.

One of the first things I learned on this path is that for someone who had an absolute obsession with a perfect outcome for every professional marketing campaign that I touched, I wasn’t practicing this behavior personally.  Case in point, nutrition and wellness.

Since I moved to NYC 9 ½ years ago, I have survived as a result of eating out and Seamless food delivery.  Beyond the taste, I had zero idea what was actually making up these meals.  From ingredients to quality control, I was not at all conscious of my daily nutritionally intake.  In fact, I really wasn’t even a fan of vegetables.  True story, I ate everything in a salad except for the greens.  Most meals were focused on an animal protein because the menu items always seemed more exciting. So if I indulged with a cheeseburger, pizza, and more cocktails and glasses of wine than I could remember, I’d solve the program with a Berocca and a spin class the next day. I figured that as long as I wasn’t putting on too many pounds, my lifestyle must be working.

Then my fourth fertility doctor told me to take a pre-natal and focus on eating a Mediterranean diet. (Seriously what does Mediterranean diet actually mean to someone that defines cuisine type based on restaurant reviews and delivery site filters?)  So I did what I was told and incorporated grilled octopus, Greek salad, hummus, and pita chips from the local Greek restaurant as staples into my diet. 

My IVF outcomes were less than stellar for my first two rounds at the beginning of 2016 and I was also plagued with a flu or cold every month for the first four months of the year.  Following my second failed IVF and sick once again, I lapsed into a slight depression fueled by an overwhelming feeling of helplessness.  I had just wanted someone to tell me what to do to get pregnant so that I could focus on the rest of my life, but clearly that wasn't working.

Then something happened…. I decided that I was going to figure out what part I could actively play because I didn't feel like it needed to be the end of this journey.  I called it after three days of a major pity party and dove head first into the sea of the Internet.  After sifting through a lot of junk diguised as schemes and products to get pregnant quickly, I stumbled across an incredible book that I proceeded to download off of Amazon.  “It All Starts with the Egg,” by Rebecca Fett, gave me hope and actual, tangible tools that got me started with my journey.

The book focuses on egg quality as the key to improving IVF odds and reducing miscarriage.  It  also has great research-backed concepts that might actually help natural conception.  I wish I had found it so much earlier and credit it as my learning springboard.  Rebecca’s personal story of trial turned to success inspired me to begin an action plan of my own centered around nutrition and wellness.

If you are interested in checking it out for yourself, you can find it here.