Getting grounded with Valerie Oula

Valerie Oula

I met Valerie Oula in February this year at Self-Love Rituals, an event that I programmed for HeyMama at the Detox Market in NYC.

Valerie set the tone for the event with an awe-inspiring kundalini yoga meditation. It still gives me chills thinking about the change of tone in the room, from excited frenetic energy to tranquility at the conclusion of the meditation. Experiencing that shift in a room full of 50 people was transformational. It was clear that Valerie has a gift.

Since that time, Valerie has taken her practice online and has been sharing her gift of guided meditation which has helped ease my angst and provide some grounding during this unsettling time. So much so that I thought that this community could also benefit by meeting Valerie - both through a virtual event and getting to know a bit more about her on my blog.

I am delighted to announce that I am launching a series called Sunday Sessions to introduce you to incredible experts including Valerie who are available to support you during your fertility journey and beyond. Valerie will be kicking off our first-ever Sunday Session event with a guided kundalini yoga meditation this July 12th at 8p. You can register for the private event by sending your RSVP to hi@fertilust.com

And now, I am pleased for you to “meet” Valerie…

As a native New Yorker, how did you find spirituality?

I was never looking for spirituality. I was never a seeker but I’ve always been curious about a lot of things but also a super skeptic. I grew up Catholic but didn’t consider myself religious let alone spiritual. Having heard about Reiki for awhile, I finally decided to book a session in early 2006. I experienced seeing colors and feeling as if I was flying through space in my my session. I subsequently told myself that it was just my imagination but it planted a seed: there might be something more than what’s obvious to the five senses.  Reiki was literally my gateway to spirituality. At the end of that year, my guy and I had no plans and he suggested going to the Zen Buddhist meditation place one block away from my apartment for a 5 hour meditation. And strangely enough, I had never meditated before but I said yes. It was through that meditation that I “heard” that I should sign up for Reiki training. I did so the very next day.

Was there a moment or experience that led you to practice vibrational energy healing?

The moment that I decided to embrace energy healing was around 2011 after a photo shoot from hell in Arizona that I produced. We drove to Sedona after the job and while I was sitting up in the mountains, I “heard’ that it was time to start my professional practice. 

The foundation of New York City is crystalline bedrock. Do and how do you think that this contributes to the energy of the city?

There’s a fair amount of quartz and other crystals in the bedrock which absolutely contributes to amplifying the energy of city - which can be a lot. 

Where/how are you finding peace and stillness right now?

I’m finding joy in my sourdough starter, that took me seemingly forever to cultivate. Finding peace and stillness through a meditative baking process. Practice makes progress with sourdough boules!

What ritual might you recommend to someone facing infertility who is looking to quiet their mind?

Sound healing meditation helps to quiet the mind. Nothing to do but tune into sound. Meditations utilizing binaural beats are also excellent since the frequency in the background working on the brain paired with guided meditation is a win-win.

What do you recommend to get started in practicing mindfulness at home?

Insight Timer is an excellent free app. The Well offers meditation classes through their digital membership and also open for drop in classes as well!

Your mantra?

When nothing is certain, everything is possible.

Favorite healing ritual?

Gua Sha with rose quartz and a luxurious face oil

Spirit animal?

Raven/Crows

One word to describe your state of mind right now?

Surrendered

Valerie Oula is a KRI certified Kundalini Yoga Instructor, Reiki Master Teacher and a practitioner of many energetic healing modalities. She is the founder of Modern Ritual NY, a holistic lifestyle offering for mind, body and soul. From healing sessions, workshops and gong baths to specially curated crystals, these offerings designed to serve the divine light within all. Valerie is also the Director of Vibrational Energy Healing at The Well located in NYC.

Valerie’s spiritual name, Saranjeet means sanctuary and victory. Her one-on-one healing sessions and classes provide a strong container for clients and students to come into balance, to align with their true selves. Her path is to create sacred space for all to experience victory through energy work and the transformative technology of Kundalini Yoga.

Valerie’s first book, “A Little Bit of Reiki” published by Sterling Ethos was published last year.

Get connected with Valerie @valerieoula and @modernritualnyc

The Nurse we all Need

I am so excited to share the discussion that I had with Fertility Nurse and Consultant, Leyla Bilali of Fertility Together.  Leyla bridges the gap between doctor visits, the waiting, the results and so much more.

It is no secret that (in)fertility is a lot to navigate both mentally and physically. Leyla’s services combine emotional support with the medicine that's within her scope of practice. It’s also a huge bonus that Leyla helps her patients with the administration of their medicine in the comfort of their own home and is also a constant sounding board. The result is that Leyla’s patients are much more than just that, they are individuals who receive support tailored to their needs during their fertility journey. 

Read on to find out more about the discussion that I had with Leyla, the Fertility Nurse that we all need.  I have come to think of Leyla is a fertility fairy godmother. Everyone going through fertility treatments needs a Leyla!

What is a fertility consultant and what inspired you to become one?

 A fertility consultant holds your hand during your fertility journey. This doesn’t necessarily have to just be for IVF but for all fertility related treatments including egg freezing. I work with some women that aren’t in a secured relationship or ready to have a child yet, but would like the option to potentially have a child in the future. From egg freezing to IVF, I help women navigate the whole process from who to see and what tests to take for baseline testing.

Sometimes an OB will suggest that a patient should see a reproductive endocrinologist, especially if a couple has been trying without success for over a year. I can guide that person on who to see based on their personalized medical history rather than just send them to a clinic where there is a relationship (between the OB and the clinic). A lot of this (fertility) world is not personalized. There is such a high volume at the large clinics which has its pros, but it makes it difficult to personalize care for people. My role is to help guide through all of the results and keep my patients sane.

I believe that a nurturing, knowledgeable partner like me can make all the difference as someone discovers their unique path to fertility. In my 11 years as a registered nurse, six of them in pediatrics, and five of the most recent in fertility, I have learned how to make healthcare more comfortable and human by inserting my compassion, humor and reliability.

 The medical world can feel very stiff and scary and we often need a shoulder to lean on to get through it. This is especially true for fertility patients as they are usually in a vulnerable state to begin with. Whether you are simply curious about your reproductive health, ready to take action via egg freezing or struggling with infertility, it doesn't get much more emotional, raw or intimate than this. And because of this intimacy, it's often hard for people to talk about it. As a society, we are beginning to lift the taboo of fertility but we still have a ways to go!

I have been fortunate enough to recognize my calling as a fertility consultant at the suggestion of some of my most dear patients. I thought I was supporting them medically and emotionally, and instead I was the one that was rewarded ten-fold with a great business idea. It actually occurred to me while I was at the home of one of my patients assisting her with injections. Sometimes the patient or the partner has a hard time administering or doesn’t feel comfortable.

I realized what was missing in fertility care when my patient said “I don’t know how people do this without a Leyla. You should start your own business.” No one else was doing this in the Tri-State area so I officially launched Fertility Together in August of 2017.

You mentioned personalization for each patient. Can you please elaborate?

 After looking at a patient’s medical history and understanding their personality, I make recommendations on who that patient would work well with and provide A – Z assistance from injections to on-call support. Even if it isn’t the full IVF, egg freezing is still the first full part of IVF by way of egg retrieval. I can assist the patient on what to expect from the medications and help administer it, if needed. 

What is your view on the correlation between stress and conceiving?

 Stress wreaks havoc on your body so there is no reason that it wouldn’t wreak havoc on your reproductive system and egg quality. 

 Cortisol (stress) hormones compete with progesterone hormones. Progesterone is crucial to pregnancy, specifically to conceiving and holding a pregnancy. There are a lot of indications that stress plays a role in infertility.

 One method that I like to combat stress is acupuncture. There may not be any direct studies that acupuncture increases egg quality but it does affect your nervous system, which can suppress your stress levels. JAMA recently released a report on an acupuncture study where some patients received traditional acupuncture and others received a placebo of randomly placing needles. The result showed no difference between the traditional and the placebo. However, because the participants felt that they were proactively doing something to alleviate their stress, the positive IVF outcomes were increased. 

What do you most regularly hear your patients “stress” about leading up to and during IVF treatment?

The anxiety from the medication and injections. The partner relationship also plays a huge role (of importance) because that is your support system and any potential lack of it, can also be a source of stress.

What are your top tips for patients to optimize positive outcomes and reduce stress?

1. Taking care of your body is huge. If you have an eating disorder, are under or overweight, you are damaging your reproductive system. You can improve egg quality and support it with good whole foods, decreasing alcohol consumption, and not smoking.

2. It is important to work with a doctor that you vibe and feel comfortable with. The doctor and the facility should be available to answer questions. You should not ever feel like a bother for asking.

3. Communication between you and your partner is crucial. We often forget that our partner is going through this too and that they have (support) needs as well. Maybe you need a third party like me or an IVF therapist to help.

4. Do what makes you feel sane; that could be acupuncture, exercise, or another healthy activity.

Are there any myths about stress that you would like to debunk?

 Prior to transferring an embryo, I have a lot of a patients who ask if the timing is right and if stressful life events will alter their results. For example they have a stressful work week coming up or life just happened. The answer is no. If the embryo is going to take and it’s going to be a viable pregnancy, it’s going to sustain despite your everyday level of stress and anxiety. 

There is nothing wrong with being stressed and anxious about this process. That is why it is annoying when people say “don’t stress or just relax”. I think that it would be abnormal if someone didn’t stress or have anxiety during the process. Letting yourself feel these emotions is where my services come in. I am a sounding board. You get to tell me that you are stressed out and just talking about it will make you feel better. 

Are there any resources that you think are a must for anyone going through or considering IVF?

• Acupuncture, Liz Carlson at Common Point. I go to her myself!

• IVF therapists

• Resolve.org offers a resource list for consultants, therapists, support groups

I would love to get to the point where people don’t feel ashamed that they had to undergo any fertility treatment to have their baby. Ideally it would be normalized and not a taboo topic.

What moment in your career has inspired you more than you could have imagined?

I was chatting with my husband’s colleague at a holiday party who knew that I am a fertility nurse, and upon meeting me shared that he was an IVF baby. He told me that he was so appreciative of what his mom went through to have him. It brought tears to my eyes.

Leyla Bilali, BS, BSN, RN is an experienced fertility nurse and fertility consultant. Leyla received her Bachelor of Science in Biology at Emory University, and her BSN at the Columbia University School of Nursing. 

To learn more about Leyla and Fertility Together, please visit: fertilitytogether.com or @fertilitytogether on IG.