Whole Life Leadership with Claudia Chan

Photo courtesy of Claudia Chan

I was deep into infertility treatments and they were not going well… I had worked with four doctors and had gone through four treatments (2 IVF) by the time I heard Claudia Chan speak on stage at her annual S.H.E. Summit. At the time I was closeted about my unexplained infertility diagnosis to hide the massive shame that weighed on my shoulders. I had also thrown myself even deeper into my work as a corporate brand marketer because I could actually work for wins there.

These sentiments bring me to why I was at the S.H.E. Summit. The conference is all about leadership and empowerment. I bought a ticket for professional growth, yet I left changed on a much deeper level personally.

When Claudia shared “Things happen for you, not to you”, it resonated with me on such a deep level. For the first time I saw that the beast that is infertility as an opportunity… to accept, learn, grow and support others. I began taking the step to understand that I was not in fact alone and that by sharing, not only did I feel more comfortable with my diagnosis, I could help others feel less alone, ashamed and all of the things that had made me question myself at my very core.

Claudia is not just an executive leadership expert, she is a whole life leadership guru who empowers others to share their stories in support of a greater cultural change - at home, at work and in the community.

Read on to learn more about Claudia and join us this Sunday, July 26th at 8p ET to hear how you can channel your why and help you thrive as an impactful and inclusive leader in all aspects of your life.

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

CC: My whole-life purpose as a wife, mother, leader of a mission and movement … and to get into connection with spirit. 

What moved you to create S.H.E. GLOBL and the S.H.E. Summit?

CC: I grew up in the community of women — an incredible working mom, an all-girls high school, Hewitt in New York, and an all women’s college, Smith in Northampton, Massachusetts.

Soon after college, I started SHECKY’s GIRLS NIGHT OUT with a partner which turned into a multi-million dollar business by the time I was 29. I hit a point though where I felt I had material success but lacked purpose.

In 2012, I noticed that the people around me were not engaged in women’s issues, so I launched S.H.E. Summit as a conference to activate them as change agents to fuel movements in topics most personal to them. Since then we have had over 600 speakers and impacted over 100,000 people to rise as impactful, inclusive leaders. Today, our S.H.E. GLOBL movement stands for “Advancing SHE, HE & Equity for All - and we do this by training professionals in what I call whole-life leadership, a framework that unlocks leadership for your career, workplace, family and community--starting with mental health as your # 1 leadership priority. The traditional definition of leadership is too one-dimensional and exclusive.

I believe that to achieve a more thriving and equal global workplace and humanity, we need people to embrace this whole-being approach to leadership.

Because of Covid-19 we have been innovating our virtual offerings to support women, men, and all people in this curriculum. On August 1, we are announcing two programs. The first is the S.H.E. Summit 12-Month Virtual Conference Membership which will put you in a community of changemakers for powerful monthly trainings and include the 9th annual conference November 9-13. For those that want to build their leadership credentials and go deeper in developing a three-year whole-life leadership vision, we offer the How We Rise “Whole-Life Leadership” Certificate Program born out of my book This Is How We Rise. 

Which accomplishments in your career would have most surprised your 30 year-old self? 

CC: Some of my greatest highlights have been:

Sharing a conference stage with Michelle Obama 

The US State Department sending me to South Korea for a country wide speaking tour to empower women in 2015 while I was pregnant with my 1st child

Becoming a UN Women's Champion for Innovation 

Having had over 600 speakers on my S.H.E. Summit stage and over 100,000 leadership actions have been taken by people since 2012

What does empowerment mean to you?

Empowerment means pursuing my calling, my big bold dreams, and my visions with internal peace. Being in a state where all self-doubt has been silenced and replaced with confidence and exhilaration. 

In your view what is the intersection between fertility and empowerment?

CC: Fertility represents birth and creation to me… being in a place where your whole-self is healthy enough and ready for creating miracles...for doing the impossible. I believe that when we are more empowered, we are more fertile. 

You’ve openly shared about your miscarriage which happened during a Summit. How did the experience affect and change you?

CC: I had a miscarriage before I had my first child Jackson. The miscarriage happened on the first day of the S.H.E. Summit 2014 and it was really hard. I started bleeding and on the second day of the conference, I checked into the hospital after moderating Catherine Maladrino and Soledad O’Brien on a “Girl’s Can” topic that Cover Girl was sponsoring. At first I felt ashamed and guilty because back then miscarriage was still an invisible conversation full of stigma. But I have learned (and teach in my curriculum) our pain can be our positive impact. I knew I had to share the story on my conference stage in the future and I did so in 2016 with my son Jackson sitting on the stage with me.

Why do you think that the discussion around women’s reproductive health and fertility is largely taboo in the corporate space? 

CC: Based on the gender history we come from and how traditional roles of women and men have been defined, there are just so many invisible barriers and conversations that we need to shed light on and transform. I teach that the equality movement is not just one movement -- it is “macro-movement” made up of thousands of movements and we need all people to start, lead change and fuel these movements -- especially the ones that are unnamed.

Fertility is in and of itself a macro-movement as there are so many areas (IVF, surrogacy, etc.) to tackle.

Which mantra do you live by? 

Mental health and mindfulness is my #1 leadership priority. 

Do you have a favorite self-care ritual?

I am a Christian so spending time with God and prayer is a big one. 

What are you reading right now? 

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

Claudia Chan is the founder of the award-winning leadership conference, S.H.E. Summit, which has made advancing women, diversity and inclusion both accessible and actionable since 2012. She is also the author of the bestselling business book, THIS IS HOW WE RISE: Reach Your Highest Potential, Empower Women, Lead Change in the World. In her book, she coined the term, “Whole-life leadership,” as a more accessible, whole-life integrated approach and gender-traits-balanced definition. Claudia’s book was celebrated as a “2018 must-read for any woman and for many men” by CNBC, featured in The New York Times and listed top six on 800-CEO-Read. She was also named one of eight UN Women Champions for Innovation.   

 Learn more about the S.H.E. Summit here and follow along on social @shesummit and @claudiachanwagner

Blogger’s footnote: This interview has been a long time coming… In fact, our first interview was 4 years ago and the recording was 2.5 hours long. Needless to say, Claudia and I had a lot to talk about and it never got published. I am thrilled to finally be sharing with you.

NIAW Feature: Faces of (In)fertility

Photo by Alexis Mera. Shirt design by Erin Halper.

At first glance it would be hard to detect that Stephanie Rapp is a fertility warrior. Stephanie is young, beautiful, vivacious and currently pregnant. And while Stephanie is entirely transparent about her story and the challenges on her path to building her family, you would probably assume that she sneezed and got pregnant. During our interview, Stephanie shares how (in)fertility has many faces and also affects young women. Read on to find out why we should never judge a book by its cover.

Stephanie’s story

My story began when I went on the pill at age 15, and was on it for the next 10 years. Fast forward to high school and college, where I struggled to maintain 100 lbs and hard a hard time putting on weight. After UPenn, I went into finance, working at Goldman Sachs in Fixed Income sales & trading, (through the financial crisis) for eight years. Soon after starting at Goldman Sachs, I was working 14 to 20 hour days and feeling the immense stress and pressure of the job and culture, (which were exacerbated by the climate of the time), and I stopped getting my period. My OBGYN, who I saw at the GS health center, reassured me that it was normal to not get a period while on the pill. After witnessing fertility struggles of people close to me, I decided to take my health into my own hands.

I went searching for a good OBGYN, I started making changes to try and get a cycle back and I went off of the pill. A year after going off of the pill, my situation was still the same. I was still very slender, still working intensely in a highly stressful environment, still working out regularly, still going out often. And still without a period.

I was sent for ultrasounds, CAT scans, MRIs, rounds, and rounds of blood work and more, to no avail. My hobby and passion is nutrition so I enrolled in nutrition school in hopes that I could also find out how to get my body functioning. I changed the way that I ate (bone marrow and collagen, ghee and egg yolks, kombu and kefir, grass fed steaks and cheese), and the way I worked out (yoga and walks, pilates and rest days). I added in acupuncture and supplements. And I started to notice positive changes in the right direction. But when my husband and I got married and started to try for a baby, I never, not once, in many months had a positive ovulation test.

I felt called to share my journey with other women who, surprisingly (had experiences which) were not dissimilar. So many of my colleagues also were experiencing amenorrhea or had suffered infertility. One day, after opening up about my struggles, a friend suggested that I see her fertility specialist. My then OBGYN told me to try for a year because I was so young before proceeding down any alternate paths. I had little to lose so I went to the specialist (that my friend recommended), and within an hour she had honed in on my issue and created a path towards pregnancy.

Patches, pills, shots and six weeks later, I was pregnant with Olivia (now four years old)! Seven months after having Olivia, I went back to my fertility specialist. Four weeks later I was pregnant with Cullen (now almost three years old)! Fast forward again, I went back for number three. A few cycles in I was pregnant again, but at eight weeks had a miscarriage. I elected for a DNC days after the diagnosis which ended up being a lifesaving decision because my pathology determined that I had a molar pregnancy, placental tumor.

Had I waited to miscarry naturally, I likely would have had to have a much more invasive procedure followed by a year or more of chemo(therapy). Instead, I suffered through a long and scary six months of constant blood work to ensure the tumor was not growing back coupled with the most intense fatigue, fog, exhaustion, lack of fervor and joy. Total depletion. I was desperate to feel like me again, but was grasping at straws. Again, I went for blood work and tests and labs; to find nothing. I treated myself with alternate therapies, supplements and nutrients, rest and support, eventually coming out of the hole I was living in after six months. I'm now pregnant with number three, due early July! 

I started a wellness company, EMBODY Wellness Company just over four years ago. We are a holistic wellness and lifestyle concierge, who create customized wellness programs for our individual and corporate clients. Our goal is to clear through the clutter and help our clients accomplish (more than) their goals in a sustainable and lasting way. We specialize in fertility, pre and post-natal and getting your body back after baby, as well as weight-loss, gut repair, clean home and beauty makeovers, corporate workshops, events, talks and more! We also do wellness business consulting for budding companies and practitioners. I am inspired by my work and our clients and love being able to help others on their journey to embody wellness!

Your high?

Each positive pregnancy test and then the highest high, holding my healthy babies! 

Your low?

The molar pregnancy rocked me to my core. It was emotionally sad and taxing, and it physically crushed me too. Feeling joy was too exhausting. I struggled to stay in the moment and enjoy the happiness around me. Even laughter was a strain. And my two kids are so funny! I felt despair and helplessness and uncertainty that the future would clear up. The road ahead seemed rocky and unreliable. My medical bills were crazy. (My insurance covered zero percent. Not even my DNC and all of the prescription hormones that I was on for well over a year.) I felt horrible physically and mentally, and felt even worse about that emotionally. I felt guilty about not being "me" for my kids and husband who needed my support and help, and I was just so so tired all of the time. 

Do you have a silver lining? 

This is a tough question. I think I'll be able to answer that more genuinely when I hold baby number three and see that he is healthy and here! A friend recently told me the timing is great because my older two are at ages where they are so excited for baby and cannot wait to be big siblings. They are thrilled to have responsibilities and teach their little brother their favorite songs, how to eat food, pick out his diapers and clothes. They will both be in preschool so I'll have good 1:1 time with the little guy. 

I truly believe I’m an optimist but I think that some parts of infertility are not lined in silver. I didn't need to have a placental tumor (to learn a lesson or appreciate something else). I don't want anyone else to go through that. I'd much prefer every woman have a linear path to motherhood. In the end, my third healthy child will be the silver lining. That's the most important outcome. 

Do you have any words of wisdom?

There are many ways of becoming a mother. Sometimes, ways we don't plan for or expect. But trust that you will hold your baby one day, maybe after an easy and natural conception, maybe through IVF, or even surrogacy or adoption. But, If you want to be a mom, you will be. 

I also want to add that most importantly that this is your journey and your life. Allow yourself to feel however you fee; mad, frustrated, sad, defeated, joyous, excited, hopeful. Whatever your emotions, they are real and don't need to be explained or justified. Give yourself the time and space to feel and heal how you need. And you don't have to do it alone! seek help from friends, professionals, (this growing) community, family, a journal, whatever you need. Reach out and let others in! You are not expected to be the expert on everything, and you are not failing.

Stephanie, her husband and two (soon to be three!) children live in NYC. If Stephanie isn’t creating meals from her farmers market finds for her family, friends or EMBODY Wellness clients, you can find her dancing and singing along with her kids as they rehearse the complete soundtrack to Frozen. To learn more about Stephanie, please visit EMBODY Wellness or follow @embodywellnesscompany on Instagram.